There’s nothing worse than forced comedy. Well, almost nothing. It’s time to add “arrested development” to the top of my cinematic pet peeves list. Not the TV show mind you, but rather the sad and annoying sight of older actors straining to stay young, vibrant and relevant. This week’s guilty party is Kevin James, the 47-year-old star of Paul Blart: Mall Cop and Zookeeper; who continues his gradual transformation into pal and former co-star Adam Sandler in Frank Coraci’s uninspired sports comedy Here Comes the Boom.

How now, brown cow? For starters, James plays younger (five years... the Hollywood standard) drives a motorcycle (recklessly, with retro helmet) displays annoying, childlike exuberance with every word and motion, hooks ups with requisite out-of-reach hottie (Salma Hayek) and beats up professional MMA fighters with little-to-no training (despite being 42, 47... or whatever.) Toss in “save the day” and you have yet another “You’re never too old to be the coolest guy in the room” movie to fall asleep to.

Rotten Tomatoes Plot: In the comedy Here Comes the Boom, former collegiate wrestler Scott Voss (Kevin James) is a 42-year-old apathetic biology teacher in a failing high school. When cutbacks threaten to cancel the music program and lay off its teacher (Henry Winkler,) Scott begins to raise money by moonlighting as a mixed martial arts fighter. Everyone thinks Scott is crazy - most of all the school nurse, Bella (Salma Hayek) - but in his quest, Scott gains something he never expected as he becomes a sensation that rallies the entire school.

Director: Frank Coraci (The Wedding Singer, The Waterboy)

What’s Best: The Fonz (Henry Winkler) never fails to impress, lighting up an otherwise dull movie with funny observations, ‘This (MMA venue) looks like a Civil War hospital,’ great sights (leading Voss out of the ring on a stretcher... gladiator uniform in hand) and musical intro selections (Neil Diamond’s Holly Holy.) Aaay!

What’s Not: See paragraph 2; but feel free to add the asinine way Principal Becher (Greg Germann) dresses Voss down in front of parents, students and teachers alike.

P.S. Did I mention the gut-wrenching American Idol-like performance (of the aforementioned Holly Holy) by mouse-like student Malia (Charice) at UFC 176? Ugh.

Best Line: Hayek’s Bella Flores counters Voss’ ‘Your dreams are about to come true.’ with a prophetic ‘Nightmares!’ before trumping it later on with ‘This is definitely the weirdest date ever.’ Weird? She just got through tackling him in his own apartment (before leaving.) Weird doesn’t begin to cover it.

Overall: Call me crazy, but I don’t enjoy bad movies with lazy storylines and shameless cross promotion (James is a fixture at UFC events: I wonder if they’re going to mention this movie a dozen times on The Ultimate Fighter?) Skip it: I wish I had.